We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize