i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
