i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize