The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
