dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
