you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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