Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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