Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
