I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
