I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
