You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
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