Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
