I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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