and my herpes radar will keep us safe
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
