I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
