just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
