i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Randomize
