Ambien. No doubt about it.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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