Who did Billy Mays play for?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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