apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
