Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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