Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
