i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
