i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
