are you still at the devil's house?
We're facebook friends in real life
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
