did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
