You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
