i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
