Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Randomize
