Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
