Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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