bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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