Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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