oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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