i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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