Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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