so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
