It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
