i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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