I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
