This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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