Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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