drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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