I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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