i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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