Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
