Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
