Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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