Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
