I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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