so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
