marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
you never un-have a 4some
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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