She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
