Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize