ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
