love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
