I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
