Apparently you make a good broom.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
