Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
