How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize