I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
